How to use fear to conquer fear
I had a bad case of OCD when I was a kid. Although this was a hindrance in my life, I discovered that I had a certain amount of control over it. I could make […]
View ArticleWhy girls date asses
For years and years I’ve listened to “nice guys” incessantly whine about how girls only want to date assholes. They complain that they treat women like gold only to be dumped later on for some […]
View ArticleA special prayer
I wasn’t even drinking when I wrote this. Our chicken nugget Who art pure heaven Tasty be thy name Thy platter come Thy will be done In the microwave as is in the oven […]
View ArticleThe girl who cried boy
I once read a story about a little boy who claimed to be a fighter pilot from World War II named James Huston. His parents believed he had been reincarnated and was none too happy […]
View ArticleThe wisdom in believing
People who don’t believe in anything really bug me. Mostly because they’re a snore, but also because it speaks to the egotistical manner by which we humans approach life. The other day my son boldly […]
View ArticlePractical space travel
You can tell alot about a person by what they take to space. The first time I met my son, he proposed the following question to me: “If you’re getting on a spaceship, and you […]
View ArticleThe trouble with humor…
Humor can be a shaky thing. When writing it, you’ve got to be at peace with the fact that you’re going to piss people off. When speaking it, you should be prepared to duck. Condemnation […]
View ArticleThe cat burglars of Walnut Street
This is the story about my involvement in a cat burglary. Literally. I feel obligated to preface this confession with the announcement that my mother is in no way affiliated with nor an advocate of […]
View ArticleThe kitten chronicles
Over the past couple of months, I’ve had a lot of spare time to reflect on my life and really think about what it is I want to do with it. If money were no […]
View ArticleYou’ll Die. Period.
This is the true story of a very heartwarming moment I had with my dad when I was twelve. He doesn’t like me to tell this story because he doesn’t want it revealed to the […]
View ArticleThe kids aren’t alright
I find myself to be continually stunned with the lack of imagination in kids these days. I just said kids these days. I have officially become an adult. My parents said this would happen. I […]
View ArticleConversations with my son
A few of the exchanges I’ve had with my kiddo…. The boy: What’s a mammogram? Me: It’s where they put your boob in a vice and squish it up and down, then sideways to see […]
View ArticleOh baby, are we bad
When people say that humans are mostly good, I can’t help but think that they’ve never watched babies play. You can tell a lot about humans by observing the newest, most innocent, utterly unsullied...
View ArticleMonsters in the closet
I’ve never been a very brave person, or even remotely brave actually. Let’s just go ahead and call me what I am; a weenie. I freak out about spiders, unexplained noises, ghosts, and hanging my […]
View ArticleWalMart math
I’d rather eat my own spleen than make a trip to WalMart. Like most of my fellow Americans, I dislike it so much because of the weirdos there (present company excluded) and the fact that […]
View ArticleWhat lies beneath
Recently I got the rare honor of spending the day with my adorable little baby niece. When my mother called and asked me if I could watch her, I thought, well hell yes. She’s cute, […]
View ArticleThe taming of the garage
About every two weeks, my husband and I engage in the black hole of house projects; we clean the garage. Again. Once we get it spotless, it seems overnight it gets overrun with pizza boxes, […]
View ArticleFinally, a morning win
I watch a lot of crappy commercials all day long, being a lady of leisure and all. These commercials are engineered toward stay at home moms mostly, and the majority are completely off the mark. […]
View ArticleSociety dismembered
The other day I was spying on my niece and her friend while playing with Barbie dolls. I wanted to make sure they were playing nice, and they were. Creepily so. They were polite, giggling, […]
View ArticleFree wisdom, by Jim
My dad stops by almost every morning to have a cup of coffee and enlighten me on some matter of life, whether it be how they manufacture bolts, to how to study for a test, […]
View ArticleThe Doppelganger Effect
At some point in your life, you’ve probably been told you look like someone else. I guess there are just so many combinations nature can make before, inevitably, some people share similarities in the...
View ArticleLove is a terrible reason to get married
Recently my husband and I celebrated one whole year of marital bliss. Reaching this rather tiny benchmark made me contemplate the reasons people get married and what it takes to make a marriage work....
View ArticleThe Phoenix rises from the pee sea
It’s been several months since I’ve posted to my favorite humor site, but I’m back and better than ever. A lot has happened in the past few months, including, but not limited to: Starting a […]
View ArticleThe too convenient convenience store
Last week, while making my usual stop at the convenience store, I spied a tiny Yorkie in the truck parked next to me. She was the cutest of all cuties that had ever cutied before. […]
View ArticleBalancing heaven and hell
It’s hell being a writer stuck in a cube dweller’s body. Today I had to drag my cold, stiff corpse up to the computer desk to regain some semblance of life by doing something creative. […]
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